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Casual dating or a relationship? Talk early

Clarify expectations without promising a connection you do not yet know.

Name your current expectations

You might want a casual date, a relationship or simply to meet someone before deciding. Explain your current situation instead of saying what you think the other person wants to hear. ‘I would like to get to know you, but I am not looking for exclusivity’ means something different from ‘I want a committed relationship’.

Discuss what those words mean

Casual and serious can mean different things to different people. Discuss continuity, exclusivity and availability as the connection develops. Do not infer an agreement from frequent messages or from having been intimate. Ask questions and allow answers that differ from your own.

Revisit the agreement when things change

Expectations can evolve. Communicate a change before acting as though you both share it. If one person wants to continue and the other does not, there is no obligation to find a compromise. Recognising the difference allows an informed choice and avoids maintaining promises that no longer reflect what you want.

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